Lights and Shadows

Life is composed of lights and shadows, and we would be untruthful, insincere, and saccharine if we tried to pretend there were no shadows. Most things are good, and they are the strongest things; but there are evil things too, and you are not doing a child a favor by trying to shield him from reality. The important thing is to teach a child that good can always triumph over evil.
–Walt Disney Company

My mom has been struggling with nosebleeds lately. We’ve consulted with the doctor, visited the urgent care, and made an appointment with an ENT specialist and still mom’s nose bled today. She tried all of the home remedies and after four hours of constant bleeding called me.


AFTER four hours of bleeding.

Ev and I quickly dressed, ate breakfast and then headed over with mom to the local ER where Ev’s best-friend-in-the-whole-world Trace works as a Security Officer. When Trace got off duty, she popped her head in and took Ev on “an adventure”…just in the nick of time as he was beginning to get antsy.


Ev and Trace are a duo of delight–full of belly laughs and crazy fun and even serious conversation. One of their favorite traditions is making videos together on Trace’s iPhone.

Lately the videos have begun something like this:

“Hi this is Evan and,” pointing over his shoulder at the spikey haired blonde holding the iPhone, “this is my girl Trace.”

His girl Trace.

He says he wants to marry her when he he grows up and when the age discrepancy is brought to his attention, he simply poo-poos it away. Ev is a great big bundle of love–eager to extend it to others and easily receiving it in return. I am always a little in awe of this dexterity of his.

In his usual affable way, Ev begins the video with his girl Trace. He takes charge as a mini director, but quietly, Trace’s influential voice can be heard guiding Ev to think beyond himself and pray for others in need.

Ev responds with his open and willing heart and adds, “and we need to pray for the people in Venezuela.”

My heart swells.

He remembers. He remembers!

He remembers how we talked about the people there in need of a new government who was chosen by the people. He remembers the story of their suffering for freedom. I love how tender his heart is toward injustice and how sincere he is with his vigilant concern.

My Little Wonder.

He teaches me something every day. He makes me aware of how little he misses in the adult conversation which surrounds him. He unabashedly stands up for the underdog and calls oppression by its name–bad people. He is the picture of God’s kind of love.

Mom is home now with a sinus cavity full of packing, in pain and awaiting a fun-filled trip to the ENT for cauterization.

But she is here, and I am grateful.

I had wanted to attend the funeral of my friend’s mother today. Her mom’s death was sudden, and the family is still feeling shell shocked, reeling from the sudden permanence of it. Earlier in the week, I attended the funeral of another friend’s father–one day here, the next day gone. Again a sudden, staggering loss. 

So I am grateful for a day spent in the ER with my mom.

I am grateful for my mom’s arms around me.

As she hugged me and thanked me for taking her to the ER, my mom whispered in my ear, “Ev is such a precious treasure, he even makes a trip to the hospital full of joy!”


He certainly does.

At the end I this day filled with lights and shadows, I am bone tired and ever so content. Life is full of plot twists and plan changes and visits to the ER and heart wrenching funerals, but in all of this, I am mindful of the joy and constancy of love–especially the love of my family and sweet friends.

And of course, the love of my Little Wonder.

The soul is healed by being with children. –Fyodor Dostoyevsky


About cjpjordan

A poet, a writer, an artist, a thinker, a musician and occasionally a skeptic, when I'm not teaching or traveling, I love to read and write and play the ukelele. I'm loving life with my Little Wonder--his energy and joy for life is contagious. He makes me believe and hope again. I don't want to forget these moments that pass so quickly so I have decided to write them down for posterity and for you to enjoy.
This entry was posted in Food and Love, Funny Stories, Injuries, Parenting, Sickness, Social Justice and Equality, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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